From Jim Gilliam's blog archivesOMG! Fun at Wal-Mart shareholders meeting
June 3, 2005 3:04 PM
I'm a Wal-Mart shareholder, and since I've been getting hammered on the stock the last few years, I was really looking forward to the shareholders meeting today. Unlike any other shareholders meeting, these are a raucous good time. Unfortunately, I missed last night's guest entertainier, and my favorite artist, Jimmy Buffett.
But for the first year ever, they are broadcasting the shareholder's meeting online... and boy am I grooving! "We're working together, it's MY WAL-MART!!" HUH!
And the characters from DreamWork's latest sure-to-be-classic animated film, Madagascar, just performed the Wal-Mart cheer.
Give me a W! W stands for WOMEN, cause we really know how to treat our women right. If the guys don't, we dock all their bonuses!
Give me an A! A stands for ACRES, cause for every acre we build on, we buy another one in some place where no one lives and we'll never need to put up a store. Cause that's good business!
Give me an L! L stands for LOVE, cause we love our customers, and our communities, and our associates, and the Big Macs at the McDonald's in every store! Did you know some guy lost weight eating nothing but Big Macs? I think his name was Jared.
Give me a squiggly! Cause we know how to boogie!
Give me an M! M stands for MOMS, cause we provide cheap health care to all our mothers, and plenty of time off so they can take ther kids to the excellent free clinics, which we support with thousands of dollars in donations every second!
Give me an A! A stands for AWESOME, cause Jesus is awesome! And Mr. Sam is hanging out with Jesus right now in heaven with Johnny, who tragically died just months after the $1 million heart transplant we gave him. What an amazing story! I'm so glad we broadcast it to over 5,000 stores nationwide and spent $80 million in television advertising on it!
Give me an R! R stands for RFID! I don't know what that is, or even how to say it, but it's gonna make us a lot of money! So YEAH!
Give me a T! T stands for TARGET, err, uh nevermind.
What's that spell!?!? WAL-MART. And the customer is ALWAYS #1. Unless they go to Sam's, then we charge them 35 bucks to get inside. There the MEMBER is ALWAYS #1.
I want to be part of Sam's club some day. With Jesus and Johnny.
More from the archive in Wal-Mart.
OMG! Fun at Wal-Mart shareholders meeting (06.03.2005)
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