November 4, 2004 12:10 PM
In a true testament to Californians' willingness to sacrifice for each other, the voters of the state with the bleakest fiscal outlook have committed $3 billion over ten years to fund stem cell research.
While the red states were busy denying rights to gay couples, California is busy saving their lives.
California -- stem cell mecca (11.04.2004)
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Wild Eyed Anarchist:
I felt this e-mail from a friend appropriate in reponse to this. It's long, hopefully it'll all get posted. It reflects whats going on in my head pretty well:
On behalf of The Peoples Socialist Republic of Santa Cruz and the many affiliated urban metropolises and overpriced mediocre suburban enclaves that compose the state of California, I'd like to formally thank the entire South and Central Plain States for really setting the record straight during last nights election.
For far too long the self righteous coastal folk who continue to champion such bizarre progressive agendas such as equality, civil rights, respect for other countries, honoring the individual privacy guaranteed by the constitution, integrity in the Whitehouse, and trying to help people less fortunate than ourselves have force fed our extremist agenda to the rest of the country with little regard to the "Traditional moral values" that have upheld the common bonds of decency and tradition that this Republic was founded on. For far too long the arrogant populace of New York and California have viewed themselves as the last bastion of reason and enlightenment in the world and the rest of the country as merely some kind of "Fly over space" or "Cursed Earth" (For you Judge Dread aficionados) that the far more educated and informed electorate must pass through to get from one side of the "Center of the Universe" to another.
Year after year we have treated middle America and the South as a bunch of ill-informed, inbred redneck's, who drink moonshine, beat their spouses over the head with a Bible, shag livestock, and vote for a candidate for such rational reasons as "Well... Dale Earnhardt had his picture taken with him so he's probably a good guy!" It's almost as if we think these simpletons are beneath us, mindless cattle following a extremist agenda that us truly tolerant people on the coasts are far too intelligent to appreciate.
So, in the spirit of setting the record straight, I'd like to thank the good people of the Heartland of America who turned out in mass numbers to elect the "Fortunate Son" to a second term. THANK THEM FOR PROVING THAT WE WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!!!!!!
It gives me great pleasure to know that you hayseed rubes out there managed to back up every stereotype we've had of you since day one by making the most mind-numbingly damaging decision since Dusty Baker took the ball out of Russ Ortiz's hand in game 6 of the world series!(Sorry SF fans)
Now when I make such crude insensitive jokes such as "How do you circumcise a redneck.......kick his sister in the chin"
there will be some hollow ring of truth that I can grab on to to justify the otherwise irrational vitriol that has spewn forth since last nights travesty of judgment by the majority of American voters.
Memo to the South: It's okay to vote for a guy who hasn't gone to a rodeo or a tractor pull once in a while!
I know you hicks in Georgia had your reasons for voting Max Cleeland out of office. After all, he only gave up three of his limbs while serving in Vietnam! Obviously, any real patriot would have lost the fouth and sent a thank you note to LBJ about it!
And obviously, that latte drinking liberal John Kerry had no right telling the truth about what happened in Vietnam. After all he only had 5 medals and one of them was for a minor flesh wound. Obviously, the draft ducking ideologues who compose the majority of this current administration can identify far more readily with a young soldier having to lay down his life in the name of faulty intelligence than someone who actually VOLUNTEERED to go to war for his country and viewed its horrors up close.
Memo to Democrats: It's ironic that the Senator from Massachusetts could pull the worst choke job since.....well the Yankees of this year when they completely folded against Mr..Kerry's beloved Boston Red Sox!
Memo to the Gropenator: If you're going to be the governor of California you should at least be able to say the word "California" properly.
Memo to Fox News: Try not to call the election before at least 23% of the vote is in next time!
Memo to Teachers around the country: Thanks allot for selling us on the big lie that you had to be able to read and speak articulately to succeed in life! The most powerful political figure in the country boasts that he "Really doesn't read much". If I'd known then what I know now I would have spent my twenties doing coke, driving under the influence, and wasting my dads money on unsuccessful business ventures!
It's of great interest to note that more people turned out to vote against a sitting president in this election than any other election in history, yet W managed to win by over 3 million popular votes. Damn it! We should have let the South succeed when we had the chance!
Since we are stuck with 4 more years of this ignorant, un-informed bumpkin in office, I suggest the only rational solution is succession. Come on, you can't tell me the Peoples Republic of California with President Alec Baldwin and VP Susan Surandon doesn't have a twisted kind of charm to it! Hell, if we break off, Gallagher and Gary Coleman might actually be able to make serious runs at public office! Besides, as an independent country we'd get the same amount of Federal aid that we'd get by staying in the union....NONE!
Memo to U.S. electorate: To paraphrase the immortal Davey Crockett when he lost his re-election bid for the Senate
"YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL, I'M GOING TO CANADA"(Okay, he actually said Texas, but I'm sure that you can understand the sentiment.)(For the Bush voters I'll explain what paraphrase means in a later email rant!)
I'll just have to face the fact that by the time Bush is done with us, it's going to take more time to pull this country out of debt then it will to surgically remove Dennis Millers nose from George Bush's ass!(Now there's a strange combination, a man with a never-ending vocabulary and another with none at all) I'd much rather learn to say "Aboot", kiss Ted Nugents ass as he so eloquently suggests, and take my liberal freakshow north of the border where I'd probably be considered a conservative by comparison.
At least I can take solace in the fact that the enraged electorate in England, who for some strange reason, don't like being lied to, will likely string up Bush's "Prison Bitch" Tony Blair. This presents a peculiar problem, because if Blair's not around, old George will have to make his own speeches to the international community which I'm sure will be carried out with a respectful, rational aplomb that would make Terrell Owens and Latrell Sprewell proud! Oh well, at least comedians will have plenty of material to work with over the next four years. It's just a shame that the rest of America didn't get the joke.
In parting I would like to recall a conversation that my good friend Andy had with his mother before election day that truly sums up this whole debacle. When his mother complained that she didn't like how John Kerry "Talked Down" to the voters, Andy aptly observed "Yeah, but consider the audience he has to talk to!" As our friends at Budweiser would say....True...True.
I guess I'll close this disorganized diatribe by giving a fat middle finger to the rest of the country and telling you all, in the immortal words of our Governor, "Consider this a divorce!"
OUT
Thu Nov 4 2004 12:42 PM
Crackermack:
Speaking to the California stem-cell issue, suppose in the next several years breakthroughs are made in fighting cancer using stem-cells funded through this initiative, or even private research. Does California need to make that cure accessible to other states that did not fund such research? Do they have an obligation to share it with red states that backed GWB&Co., Inc. and their anti-stem-cell policies?
I have a sneaking suspicion stem-cell research would suddenly be a supportable issue on the right, if not a "miracle from God" at that point. Remember, it was commonplace for religion to be used to support segregationist policies just a few decades ago, yet now even the far right has distanced themselves from the Jim Crow crowd.
Thu Nov 4 2004 2:56 PM
Jason:
California looks out for the public health of its citzens, unfortnately there was already an initiative to ban gay marriage a few years back that passed.
Thu Nov 4 2004 4:18 PM
Cici:
I, being one who is personally affected by Prop. 71, am extremely glad that the people here saw a good opportunity when it landed right under their noses.
It's going to be a huge risk, but I think it's worth it because if it hadn't passed, we probably would NEVER have seen another one of these EVER, at least if Bush had anything to say about it.
Thu Nov 4 2004 5:28 PM
Johan of the blue-yellow Neutrals:
Good for the californians, i bet they wont regret that decision.
Stem cell research, now that is one interesting field of science. Such potential hasnt been seen since the discovery of DNA/RNA, getting a little excited just thinking of it.
But anyways, good luck in the research :)
Sat Nov 6 2004 3:58 AM
Anonymous:
Red state bans on gay rights? Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't blue state Oregon vote 58% to ban gay marriage too? Its not just those knuckle dragging Christians you have to worry about - looks like quite a few within the democrats own party jump ship on that issue.
As for the stem cell issue, one would think California had thrown enough money away in the past decade or two and learned it's lesson about investing in junk science.
Mon Nov 22 2004 2:43 PM
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