From Jim Gilliam's blog archives
Homeland Security Red Alert!

September 15, 2005 6:22 AM

The Borowitz Report: "Reacting to criticism that the federal government does not respond quickly enough in times of emergency and crisis, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff today unveiled what he called 'a color-coded apathy alert system' that will warn the public of just how sluggish the government’s response will be.

Chertoff: “In times of crisis, people have had to guess whether the government cares or not. This apathy alert system should totally take the guesswork out of that.”

More from the archive in Incompetence, Tragedy.

Homeland Security Red Alert! (09.15.2005)

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Jim Gilliam
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